Navigating The Newly-Wed Stage

The first year of Marriage is often known as “the wet cement year,” because it is the time when couples learn to figure out how to live as partners without getting stuck and without developing bad habits that might trap them later. Here are some good patterns and ways of being together that should continue for the rest of your marriage:

Put God First.

When we say, “put God first” that doesn’t mean you neglect your spouse. We know God wants us to do good to all people, especially our spouses, but if we make God that third cord, we have a threefold cord, that’s not so easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). Our relationship will be strengthened when we learn to depend on God’s strength in marriage rather than on our human strength. When we put God first, we put God in the marriage.

Take Action: Make a commitment to build your weekly and monthly schedule around attending church.

Make Your Own Home.

Newlyweds should establish their home together and put their marriage relationship before their relationship with their parents. It is unwise to share too much information with your parents when talking about your spouse. Some things should remain private. The Bible says, “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), meaning he leaves his old family and starts a new one. In-law interference can destabilize any marriage.

Take Action: Discuss what new traditions and boundaries you want to set as a family.

Honor Each Other.

The Bible commands all Christians to “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10) and to “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). Who better to treat this way than your spouse? Honoring, cherishing, and loving your spouse is all about action. It is shown through deeds – by being courteous, kind, loving, and forgiving.

Take Action: Do something this week to show your spouse how special they are to you.

Love is a Verb.

Love is a feeling and can be expressed in words. But the broadest definition of love is not about feelings, but about action. Love does speak louder than words, so let your love be expressed in deeds. The love of God was no better displayed than by Christ on the cross (John 3:16), and that kind of love couldn’t be described in words – it had to be shown in actions. Serving each other is the glue that joins a couple together and God then binds it.

Take Action: Find out what deeds communicate love to your spouse. Commit to regularly showing your love!